Walking away from certain individuals in my life has always been easy to me. I know when someone is corrupt, or harmful to my life and i know there is always a way out. I look back at all the memories I had with these certain individuals and I don’t feel like it was all a waste. I learned from these people, I had some incredible times. And I would 100% let some of them back in my life, but not now. We were all young and dumb, we made choices that weren’t always right. Until we grow up more, I can’t let some of these people back in. But some I would take in right here right now. If they needed me, I’d be here. But that’s only a select few.
With that being said, they might not have me. I’ve grown into a more knowledgeable woman who has had heartbreak, pain, and just those things alone change people. I’m not the same girl I was in middle and high school. I had to piece myself back together and something beautiful and different came from that. Yes I did just call myself beautiful, and that’s okay. There are still some parts of me that are the same, I care with everything I have. But will people care for me? I don’t care if they don’t but they have to be okay with me walking away. I’m not going to be some person you’re only friends with because you expect something from me. You only need me when you need something. I want someone who will love me to my face and also when I’m not there. None of the childish talking about each other behind our backs.
I care so deeply, I love to tell people I love them, or show people. I love being open with my friends and knowing they will in return feel like they can tell me anything too. I’ve met some people recently that I could tell ANYTHING to and I know it’ll stay with just us. And we say it all the time we hope it doesn’t change. Just know right now, its not going to change with me.
Like the title of this states you have to take me as I am. I’m emotional, I’m real, I’m honest. Hormones, emotions, depression these things run my life. I’m working on it, I have issues. Who doesn’t though? If you can’t handle it, don’t. Do me a huge favor and get out of my life. Don’t pretend. If you don’t like my chronic pain that causes me to be unreliable when it comes to hanging out, sorry, leave. Somethings I just can’t help. I used to call myself and introvert but that’s not true at all, I love people. I love doing things, but sometimes my body says no fucking way. I’m done stressing about how people feel about me, if they think I’m a flake. If you don’t like my sexuality, get over it. I’m me, I don’t have to explain anything to you or anyone. Don’t like my other friends? Don’t like what I do in my spare time? Cya.
I am not going to change for my family, my boyfriend, for my best friend, for my coworkers, for a stranger I met on the street, I’m me. I’m staying this way and if you don’t like me…go. If you are supposed to love me and you don’t…bye. I’m done.
This might sound selfish, but that’s not my intent. I just want everyone to realize I’m done taking shit from people. I want everyone to know I put up with a lot from a lot of people that never deserved my time to start with. Drugs, attitudes, selfishness…you guys decided what you wanted. Just know in the future if you need me…for real, I’m here for you because I love you. But this is goodbye.